> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://crossstreetcoaching.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # A Review of Angela Duckworth's Situated - URL: https://crossstreetcoaching.com/a-review-of-angela-duckworths-situated/ - Published: 2026-10-01T03:26:50.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-01T03:26:50.000Z - Description: Ten years after Grit, Angela Duckworth turns to the situations that shape what we do. A coach's review of what sticks and where it doesn't land. - Author: Jacen Spector Angela Duckworth takes on the oft-quoted Viktor Frankl in her latest book, *Situated*, a ten-years-later update on what she’s learned since publishing *Grit*. You’ll run into this line from his *Man’s Search for Meaning* in leadership books and trainings everywhere: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” The common understanding is that we can only focus on what we can control. Duckworth quotes the lines that come next, which she says she’s never seen quoted: “If \[the suffering\] were avoidable, however, the meaningful thing to do would be to remove its cause, be it psychological, biological or political. To suffer unnecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.” Her first book, *Grit*, argued that passion and perseverance are what separate high achievers from everyone else. And it became very much sucked up into the lexicon (mine included). I’ve even taught parts of the book to several groups. You might find, however, that even armed with the knowledge, it still proves challenging to apply in a meaningful way. In *Situated*, Duckworth explains that her rethinking started when an NYU grad student wrote to her. His critique was that *Grit* almost blames people for not trying hard enough, while ignoring the situations they’re in. It gave her enough pause to reconsider, and thus *Situated* began. Duckworth’s core idea is to look upstream, because changing the situation changes the thoughts and behavior it keeps producing.¹ ![Three boxes in a row labeled Situation, Thoughts and Response, with arrows pointing left to right. The first box, Situation, is outlined in orange, with a hand-drawn arrow and a note that says "start here."](https://storage.ghost.io/c/00/1a/001a28d8-f54f-4359-b47b-bd9258f7592f/content/images/2026/10/image.png) Download Duckworth's [3 Boxes Blueprint](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6a0cc3ac258c6a31758eb9fb/t/6a96f17b36f5834dff9e34bb/1788277115304/3+Boxes+Blueprint-Handout.pdf?ref=crossstreetcoaching.com). I really started to get into sync with this book when she talks about her marriage, which feels very real. It’s relatable to anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship, and it’s the most humanizing part of the book, stripping the guru veneer from the person who wrote the book on persevering above all else. It boils down to her realizing that her urge to put in more effort was tied to her own sense of control, and it just didn’t fix things for two working parents with heavy demands. By the end, she acknowledges, “Grit isn’t enough. Your situation must be your ally.” The later chapters turn the lens on the situations you create for others, whether you’re a parent, a leader, or a citizen. As she puts it: > “I didn’t write this book just to help you. I wrote it to help the people you care about.” That one got me. For those in manager or manager-ish roles, the leadership chapter is the one to read. In Duckworth’s MBA class at Wharton, she asks her students to describe the difference between a great performer and a great leader. Her answer is that “performers strive to deliver their best as individuals; leaders are responsible for bringing out the best in others,” and she backs it up with a couple of real-world case studies. My biggest takeaway came near the end, where she reframes Maslow’s hierarchy not as a sequential stepping-stone pyramid to climb, but as multiple needs you pursue in tandem. Maslow, it turns out, was intellectual sparring partners with Frankl, and she shares some of their exchanges, including where Maslow finally landed, that self-transcendence is a higher need than self-actualization. In other words, as you get older, you start to realize that living for something bigger than yourself matters more, not less, than becoming the best version of you. Two parts of the book raised an eyebrow. The first is the habit tips, like leaving your workout gear next to the bed, which recall *Atomic Habits* for me. I felt like we were really past the super-clever, neat hacks to make all your habit dreams come true. Friction does have its place, and small changes can add up. In my coaching experience, though, it’s rare that tricks like this alone translate into long-term results. After a few weeks, they often feel like another line item to manage in your week. The second is my main qualm with the book. Agency over your situation becomes a double-edged sword. If you were struggling because you felt you lacked the discipline, are you struggling any less if you didn’t clean up your physical space, optimize your calendar, pick the right peer group, or move out of your hometown? To her credit, Duckworth recognizes some of this. In a section on eating, she writes that the minor tweaks that work for her “are not enough” for someone fighting persistent, obsessive thoughts about food. She makes a similar concession about moving,² but being scared to move, in my opinion, is very different from not being able to cover first and last month’s rent. No amount of coaching can make that money manifest itself. If you coach or lead people, *Situated* is worth your time. Duckworth still has an excellent gift for distilling science-backed research into easy-to-understand, conversational concepts, which makes it an easy and engaging read. A light-to-decent 8, and one of the rare second book follow-ups that make the first book better. --- ¹ She calls it the Three Boxes, adapted from Stanford psychologist James Gross: situation → thoughts → response. Most of us are fixated on Box Three, the response, white-knuckling our way to a better one. Duckworth sends you upstream to Box One, the situation, because that’s what keeps producing the thoughts behind the behavior. Opening up Box One, she explores four key areas: your space, the peers around you, the mentors you have, and your culture. ² Duckworth gives a whole chapter to status quo bias and our reluctance to change where we live. She writes that the usual answer is “I can’t,” followed by “Well, even if I can, most people can’t.” She says she can’t know whether moving is possible for you, but that clinging to the familiar is human nature. This is where tales of extraordinary Olympians and Taylor Swift changing their environment differ from the life of a regular mid-career office worker.